Ice Cream / Dear Diary

Today I died again… It was harder than I thought, but easier than the first time.
I was shaking for a few minutes and my heart refused to stop.
There was a gun; there were three men; a bullet and life I had not lived completely.

My friends hate when I say that I won’t have a long life. And all though I always felt that was the truth; every time I die I think “not now”, “it is not time yet”.

So I get this borrowed time. No questions asked, no forms to fill, no waiting lists. Just extra time.

First I didn’t understand why.
So I had a chance to save some one and I knew then that the time I borrowed wasn’t for me. As I know now, that this time, it isn’t also.

Today I thought I could change it all. I thought I could stop time and make everything finely right. It was all just a mountain, a river and a bus away…

But it was time that stopped for me.

And now I say:
"You like ice cream…
I guess I can try to be cold".